A lot of ‘things’ affect the creative process. The brain is a complex muscle that has to be exercised and fed physically by food. It also has to be fed psychologically.
Events in our lives are what I will call stimuli, i.e. encourage it and get the brain ‘excited’ so that it wants to work hard. Others are ‘drags’ that tire it out.
Three drags may have gotten to me. During the past three years, three months and twenty-two days, we – that’s fourteen – home owners have been pressuring builder and developer of our houses to fix a major drainage problem. We were trying to do it without going to court. The process has had its emotional ups and downs as the process zigged and zagged. Finally, this past Friday we came to an agreement on the legal terms, scope of the work and money.
One would think my brain would be ecstatic and wanting to run out and celebrate. Or, I would feel relieved. Instead, my brain was just tired.
Drag two was two separate but related events, i.e. we had to euthanize two of our dogs about six weeks apart. Rowley was within weeks of his 15th birthday and had a stroke. He could no longer walk so the decision was easy. I sat in the room at the vet balling as they put down one of the smartest animals I’ve have ever had the pleasure of knowing, much less owning.
Rickey – was my wife’s snuggle buddy for the past 15 and a half years. He was the smartest animal I’ve ever known. He suffered from the canine version of Alzheimer’s, was going blind and was already deaf. One of the bi-products of the disease is that he didn’t know where he is most of the time. He was pooping and peeing in the house so we had to put him down. I loved the dog as did my wife and we both sat their crying.
It has been a month or so since we put Rowley down and I’m still grieving. We have one dog left – Rudy – and while he is personable, fun, smart and all those things a good dog should be, he’s not Rowley or my wife’s Rickey.
Yesterday, I was at a book signing at a local Kroger Supermarket yesterday as part of the their author’s program. Normally, between visits by prospective buyers, I am working on something.
Not yesterday. I stared at the laptop and was forcing myself to write. Late in the morning, I gave up. The creative juices just weren’t there. My brain was tired or maybe I was simply depressed. Who knows? Do I care? Yes. Writing is a “volunteer” business, i.e. I volunteered to become an author and have to work through it all because I have stuff to write and deadlines to meet so this blog is hopefully the first step back. Thanx for reading.